Redefine what you think failure means
One of the key things that I want to help combat is the fact that people think an unexpected outcome means that they have failed.
The diagram below show in more detail about what I want to say:
The Image below shows a girl that you have noticed. She is walking past you. You do not make an attempt to interact with her. This is a failure. You miss 100% of the shots you do not take. You just see her walk past!
Now imagine the fact that you have started talking to her. You with all courage ask her if she wants to hang out. She says that she has a boyfriend, You have to be considerate to the fact that she is committed and back down with grace and smile. Now most of you may think that it is a failure on your part! While you may be in dismay about the fact that you got “Rejected”. You got a result. This result you would never have got without trying.
The biggest misconception guys have is the fact that they have failed once you do not get your desired result but it is a result that you got after conquering your fears. Let me explain what happens when she says that she has a boyfriend
- You have given a chance to be able to gt to know you.
- It was her who lost the chance of a lifetime, not you!
The above facts are absolute gospel. Learn to live by them. Repeat it when you are brushing your teeth, when you are taking a shower.. whenever you get a small breathing room.
Now you know what you must do in order to face undesired results. We will now start the main lessons which are the basics with which you will start interacting.
Ooze Confidence or at least Fake it
100% of our insecurities come from the fact that we tend to think too low of ourselves.
Am I an alright guy?
Yes you are!(Always remember)
Now that you have it out of our way, we will begin with the pitfalls that most people fall into while chasing girls. The most common being
Spending too much money on girls
If money is all she wants it’s better to get a new girl. ANY girl worth her salt will think that you are trying to buy her. She will be intimidated by the fact that you are doting on her something that she herself cannot afford/ wished to buy herself!
I will introduce the terminology of AFM : Average Frustrated Man!
AFM always listens to a girl’s problems, he always buys her the handbag she wants without ever consulting her. AFM gets rejected and says “Girls don’t like nice guys!”
AFM will always lose out on the girl because of two reasons:
- Expectation of receiving affection due to what he did for her.
(Women are emotional creatures, they much prefer how you made them feel, an AFM makes them feel normal, like good friends)
- He is a common commodity.
(You can find people like AFM in every nook and cranny of the world, there is nothing really special about him.)
Now you have to set yourself apart form the AFM. You cannot leverage money! So what can you leverage?
Yourself and your time!
First you must know in your own mind(or fake that):
- You are a desirable commodity
- Your time spent is more valuable than any amount of money you could spend
You have to be confident in yourself and know what you have to offer. Now you may ask, what do i have to offer?
We are going to revise everything we have established about you as fact:
- You are an alright guy
- You respect her
- You can smile even in the scary situations
- You have a huge amount of self worth, you value your own time
- You are the one with courage to approach her
These 5 facts separate you form 99.99% of your competition.